Mirror America: The Explorer

"Welcome back. What are the reasons behind your decision to take a new path and become an explorer?"

"The wind of history has touched me."


"I realised I had to follow in the footsteps of the great Western explorers."


"Here on Earth."

"No offence, but everything on this planet has been discovered."

"That fact didn't bother the Western explorers much either. It won't bother me."

"Would you care to elaborate?"

"When these explorers landed somewhere, there were already people living there. So the place was already discovered. Everything had its own name and was known to the locals. But the Western explorers gave everything a new name, most of them, of course, names that were already at home. Then, I suppose, to avoid difficulties of interpretation because of the different names, they made sure that only the people who used the new names survived. I'm not sure I'll go that far."

"What do you want to discover?"

"I figured I could eventually discover America, aka Muttland by its new name. I'm planning to do that now."

"Why Muttland?"

"Because there is no such thing and I want to be truly original."

"What about the locals?"

"You mean the indigenous people?"

"Uh, yes."

"They'll get used to the new names, I tell you. I'm a civilized man. I'm sure 30% of them will survive after colonization."

"Do you want to colonise too?"

"I'm not going to colonize, I'm just going to discover. Those who come after me will do it."

"What if they defend themselves?"

"Yes, it will be more difficult for me, because so far all the explorers have been friendly with the locals, unfortunately I don't have the opportunity to ask them about it. I'm sure they've learned their lesson, so I expect them to be hostile."

"Where do you plan to make first contact with the natives?"

"In Cutiesquirrel."

"Where's that?"

"I think the locals call it New York, but a hundred years from now, believe it or not, that name will be forgotten."

"Will there be any other changes?"

"Yes, they'll be a horrible savage and barbaric people."


"Because of my conscience. It would be terrible even to think of such a thing happening to advanced beings. But then, everything is peaceful and is justified in hindsight by people who only know the truth from My news."

"Do you need any qualifications to make this discovery?"

"I have looked into that too. It turns out that no. Nevertheless, I educate Myself."


"I've immersed myself in the indigenous language so I can communicate with them."

"When will we hear from you when you're in the field?"